shameless self promotion

Sunday, July 08, 2007

a day without greg is like a day without sunshine...
-linsey verver

there are a few things that will never happen. i will never be an astronaut, become president or be in a sex tape. i know you're all disappointed, but i'm not eligible to be president. think about what would happen if i was given executive power over the entire country. if i'm elected here's a list of policies and programs i pledge to spend our taxes on...

1) mandatory IQ tests will decided who has the right to live in the U.S., regardless of race, religion or sex. persons deemed mentally disabled will be granted asylum, given that they are ineligible to take public office. persons deemed mentally viable will be granted all rights, privileges, and responsibilities of the country, upon these people will the future of the country rest, to whom much is given much is required. persons deemed mentally undesirable will be deported to france, where they'll likely go unnoticed.

2) abolishion of the I.R.S. will be followed by a flat national sales tax. taking home 100% of your paycheck only costs eight additional percent of everything you buy. people with no money won't buy much and won't carry the country. the wealthy will get gouged when they buy another $3,000,000 yacht, life is good.

3)gun control will reach new heights when the "morello bill" goes into effect. following the wisdom of the sage, tom morello, the U.S. government will arm the homeless and let the chips fall where they may. the streets will be safer because no one will be one them and, once the homeless have killed each other off, the vagrant problem will be solved.

4)wal-mart, via-com and clear channel will be dismantled, as these monopolic empires provide the country no innovative resource and only suck the very soul from the land.

5) the countries nuclear arsenal will be deployed, will be disarmed and made into lamps to light and heat them homes of the poor. space travel will be made available to every one, for the cost of a kidney, thus fixing the organ donor problem.

such will be the state of the greg-sphere, what you mortals call earth, in twenty years after the oden doctrine goes into place the peace of our land will stretch to the ends of the earth and the music of Wyld Stallyns will drift across the earth. or i will have totally screwed things up and destroy all of man-kind in six months.

either way, it's worth a shot

have a nice day.